Teen Depression or Teen Moodiness: How to Tell them Apart

One of the scariest parts of being a parent is not knowing what to do when your child is going through struggles. For parents who think their child might be dealing with depression, it is particularly difficult because it is hard to tell where typical teenage moodiness ends and true depression begins. And if your child is depressed, how do you talk to them and where do you get them help? 

Below, I have listed some basic information about teenage depression that be of some assistance. If you do think your child may be suffering from depression, make sure you seek the help of a trusted doctor, counselor or qualified minister. They can help you support your child as he or she works through a difficult time.

Signs and Symptoms of Depression in Teens

• Sadness or hopelessness
• Irritibility, anger or hostility
• Tearfulness or frequent crying
• Withdrawl from friends and family
• Loss of interest in activities
• Changes in eating and sleeping habits
• Restlessness and agitation
• Feelings of worthlessness and guilt
• Lack of enthusiasm and motivation
• Fatigue or lack of energy
• Difficulty concentrating
• Thoughts of death or suicide

The Difference Between Teenage and Adult Depression

Depression in teens can look very different from depression in adults. The following symptoms of depression are more common in teenagers than in their adult counterparts:

• Irritable or angry mood – As noted above, irritability, rather than sadness, is often the predominant mood in depressed teens. A depressed teenager may be grumpy, hostile, easily frustrated, or prone to angry outbursts.
• Unexplained aches and pains – Depressed teens frequently complain about physical ailments such as headaches or stomachaches. If a thorough physical exam does not reveal a medical cause, these aches and pains may indicate depression.
• Extreme sensitivity to criticism – Depressed teens are plagued by feelings of worthlessness, making them extremely vulnerable to criticism, rejection and failure. This is a particular problem for “over-achievers.”
• Withdrawing from some, but not all people – While adults tend to isolate themselves when depressed, teenagers usually keep up at least some friendships. However, teens with depression may socialize less than before, pull away from their parents, or start hanging out with a different crowd.

Tips for Talking to a Depressed Teen

• Offer support. Let depressed teenagers know that you're there for them, fully and unconditionally. Hold back from asking a lot of questions (teenagers don't like to feel patronized or crowded), but make it clear that you're ready and willing to provide whatever support they need.

• Be gentle but persistent. Don't give up if your teenager shuts you out at first. Talking about depression can be very tough for teens. Be respectful of your child's comfort level while still emphasizing your concern and willingness to listen.

• Listen without lecturing. Resist any urge to criticize or pass judgment once your teenager begins to talk. The important thing is that your child is communicating. Avoid offering unsolicited advice or ultimatums.

• Validate feelings. Don't try to talk teens out of their depression, even if their feelings of concern appear silly or irrational to you. Simply acknowledge the pain and sadness they are feeling. If you don't, they will feel like you don't take their emotions seriously.